Not a love song
by Butterfly81
Summary: Seven years since she last sung a love song. Seven years since she lost faith. Seven years since they all broke her.  Rachel/Quinn story. Read Authors Note.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: I haven't written in a while, so I thought to start again slowly and this idea just seemed to pop up from listening to Uh Huh Her's Common Reaction album. I recommend you to listen to it, especially wait another day and Common Reaction.  
>English isn't my Native language, and i'm still struggling with the language, any constructive criticism is welcomed as is any other thoughts you might have. For those of you who give this story a chance, thank you. This is a one-shot but might be a two-shot if there is any interest.<strong>

**Thanks**

**Warnings: Suicide attempt?  
><strong>

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the storyline and typos**

**Title: Not A love song.**

**A Rachel/Quinn Story.**

She hadn't wasted a single breath on a love song ever since that glass-shattering moment of realization had hit her, right in the chest where every single movement was formed from the intake of her breath.

He had done it again. Broken yet another promise of the many he had sworn to cherish and hold.

_"I only want to love you"_ he had whispered in her ear one rainy ghost-like summer evening. An evening where the wind was frozen, where the trees had lost their will to struggle their limbs to move from it's body.

_"I don't ever want to walk away from you"_ She soon realized that it's what they all said. What they all fooled themselves to believe.

_"I love you. Marry me? Forever and never."_ such enthralling words that had come to play such huge parts in movies, politics and history. Somehow they are all connected through the lies they were put through. They were all broken promises at some point or another.

She was smart, she shouldn't have listened to the guards around her heart that just were begging to be released from their evil empress. Finn ended up being the last man to catch her heart unguarded. The last one to ever hear a love sung erupt from the deepest parts of her lungs. Soon the empress in her had lashed out at the guards and scoffed at them for being so foolish to defy her orders. In return they slumped with defeat before raising their heads and standing ever more upright than ever, with their fists clenched around their armor and ready to battle any other enemy that dared to approach.

Lies and broken promises…that's what everyone were, they were all covered in remains of lies.

It's been seven years since that unfortunate/fortunate realization. Seven years since Finn entered her room with a head lowed in obvious shame.

A face usually so bright with life and kindness was replaced with a sick shade of regret.

She turned away from the sight of her boyfriend and instead focused her gaze on the crinkled papers on her desk. She had been trying to write a song for Nationals but nothing was coming to her mind besides lame words that described her headband.

She crumpled another sheet of paper, throwing it over her shoulder before resting her elbows on the hardwood desk with her chin resting on her fists. She closed her eyes and sighed before she spoke.

"You slept with her again, didn't you?" God, she never knew the _again_ part could hurt so much. She could hear a defeated sigh escape from his lips and had to bite her lip from laughing. Love was truly ridiculous. Correction…Love _and_ Finn.

"Leave" Her voice void with the usual bright and happy tone that could light up ones day.

"I'm sorry. It just happened" Came the response.

She closed her eyes; not willing to give him the satisfaction of seeing the emotion she knew was there. They say the eyes are the windows to ones soul, and let's face it, Finn's visiting hours were long ago over.

"It just happened" She agreed with an informative tone.

"Please if you'd just-" His words were cut off when a loud slam was heard against the surface of her desk. Her hand was burning from the force it had hit her desk, she eyed the red bruising of it and felt strangely at satisfaction. At least something was real.

"I don't need to do anything. I'm not going to repeat myself. Leave…"

Seven years later and she's sitting close the edge of the rooftop of her apartment.

Her thin, delicate and so innocent fingers itch closer to the edge.

One movement, one shift of her body, and she could leave everything behind.

The city had never been as silent as it was now. The usual never ending police sirens that echoed throughout the city walls had long ago died on its latest stop. The struggling father of 3 had given up honking at the unmoving traffic. The city was still as it never had been before. This was it.

How fitting…a singer loosing it's hope with one slam to her childhood desk and then regaining it with a slam to the ground. Hope of something better.

She laughed with bitter and tries squeezing out the tears that were blinding her sight.

They had all walked away, one by one. Finn, Jesse, Puck…Shelby. For once in her life she wanted to be the one to walk away. The feeling she was having right now, the want to breathe out and just let go…it felt so right.

She shook her head with a small laugh. Not a single love song in seven years. She couldn't let go without singing one, the last song to ever escape from her lips. She had always been a fan of that particular genre, but during the circumstances…it just felt stupid. And whoever sing it to if not New York City. The only place that had managed to brighten her dark soul with it's gorgeous, blinding lights. She takes a deep, shuddering breath and looks out the night.

_I look at the starlight _

She closes her eyes and smiles peacefully.

_I am shattered by the night _

_Always run where I can  
>And I hide where I wanna hide<br>_

The guards start surrendering, one by one they discard their weapons. Her fists unclench.

_But it feels so right  
>I want it tonight<br>It feels so right _

Her fingers edge closer and body shivering in anticipation. She's so close.

_I went out of my mind_  
><em>I am calling you one more time<em>  
><em>I know how it feels tonight<em>  
><em>I can do nothing about it<em>  
><em>But it feels so right<em>

Her voice starts loosing it's strength and control and soon she's practically sobbing out the words with her lip quivering in grief like a newborn.

_I want it tonight  
>You feel so right<em>

_I will wait to love you_  
><em>I will wait another day<em>  
><em>For you I'd leave all this behind<em>

And then it's over. Her voice has done her part and now it's time for the rest of her. She leans over, her legs over the edge, her back relaxes and then…

"_Don't!"_


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you for all the reviews. I think this will be 3 or 4 parts, but we'll see.  
><strong>

**Warnings: Suicide attempt?  
><strong>

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the storyline and typos**

**Title: Not A love song.**

**A Rachel/Quinn Story.**

Not a Love song

"_Don't"_

Rachel's fingers crawled back from the edge into safety as Rachel realized whom the voice belonged to.

"Please don't, I…I don't understand. I thought you were…" _Happy_ she wants to say. She was stumbling on her words, but she wasn't sure if her eyes were deceiving her or if Rachel was really about to slip of the edge of a 4 feet building.

"What, Quinn? What did you think?" Her fingers were slowly reacting and moving again.

"I…" The blonde couldn't fathom a reason why Rachel shouldn't be happy or overjoyed from everything she had been experiencing her first semester at Julliard.

_It had been a shock to both of them when they'd run into each other at the welcome meeting at their new school. Of course Quinn had been aware of the acceptance letter Rachel had received at Senior year, when she had all but sung it out in the corridors of McKinley High. However it had still been a shock to walk into a Rachel Berry without her usual kindergarten outfit. Everything had been stripped off and been replaced with tight dark blue jeans and white dress shirt to go with. The brunette she once had knew had grown up during the summer._

_Rachel's lips had barely parted when Quinn rushed to assure her and explain her presence._

_"Relax Berry. I'm not here to torture you another three years. I just got my acceptance letter a week ago, and yes, you're not the only with an interest for music."_

_"Interest would be an underestimation, Quinn. I'm glad you decided to take a leap of faith, you deserve to be happy."_

_Days later they had once again bumped into each other only this time Rachel had been unfortunate to not notice the steaming hot cup of coffee in Quinn's hand, she didn't realize Quinn had spilled it's contents until a burn slowly started to make it's appearance from her chest. It spread like the sudden contact of a stinging nettle leaving a crucifying pain behind. Her breath caught and she couldn't form a single word._

_"Oh my god! Rachel! I-I didn't mean that to happen, you got to believe me, it was an accident. I-" Was said followed by a gasp.  
><em>

_Rachel squeezed her eyes shut, hoping for the pain to somehow vanish. The burning increased and she started to tremble. She lost control over her hands as the tremors surfaced from everywhere of her body._

_"Rachel?"_

_"I can't breathe" The brunette managed to squeeze out from all the pain._

_The shock in Quinn's eyes grew and the worry in her faded into panic. Soon she was dragging the brunette by her waist while another of her hand gingerly rested on her shoulder towards nurse office. I guess you could say that it was on that day that the two girls, for the first time ever, laid everything behind and started fresh albeit with one of the girls experiencing great burn wounds. I guess that saying everyone use makes sense now. No pain no gain_.

"We can fix it! Whatever it is we can fix it! Just come back to me." Quinn pleaded, her feet slowly moving closer to the edge Rachel was close to falling off.

"You don't get it! There is nothing to fix, that's the problem Quinn! That is what's great about me. There is nothing to fix. I'm not like those girls waiting for a man to come and complete their lives, I'm not like the ones who sit at a stupid sunset at a beach wondering if I'll ever meet my great love. I am not anything… resembling to those girls. I am the one who gets away. The one that is smart enough to accept that there is no such thing as forever and stay away from a unnecessary heartbreak." Throughout all the tension in the air, Quinn managed to scoff at the brunette's silly belief.

"Well if you are so goddamn perfect from everybody else then why are you doing this?"

Tears prickled in the brunette's eyes but she took in the sweet air of the night and pushed the tears back.

"Because it's the only thing life has to offer me." Her fingers were now gripping the edge again and she turned around for the first time to meet her best friend's disarming beautiful eyes.

"I love you Quinn." It was all that needed to be said and then she had turned her gaze back to the lights of the city.

"Turn around and don't look back" Were her last words to the blonde.

Quinn's heart started beating faster against her bones, she felt like she was suffering from calcium shortage as her bones felt like they were giving away and for a second she thought her heart was going to beat out of her body. The tears started flowing and then it happened.

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: Sorry for the delay i've been stuck on this part and it felt way too short. But then I realized that it was meant to be this way. The rescue and the end. Or maybe i'm just lacking in the writing department, could be so. This is short btw lol, if you haven't noticed. I hope you like it, and any constructive criticism is very welcomed. And thank you Cassicio for your review, I truly needed that push. I hate being Cruel ;)**

**By your side. Part 3**

Quinn's body reacted before her mind had time to grasp what she was doing. Her long slender fingers grabbed the closest thing they could wrap themselves around, which so happened to be the short sleeve of Rachel's jacket. Her heart was pumping blood violently, she felt feverish from the adrenaline coursing through her and the mere chance of loosing Rachel.

There was no way she could go on living without her best friend, so she felt no remorse in almost risking her life in a attempt of saving Rachel's. Her feet were the only thing holding both of them, they had caught themselves around a metallic pole fortunately. She could feel the weight of the both of them tiring out her limbs there was only so much time she could hold both of them.

Her fingers moved cautiously from the sleeve to Rachel's wrists.

With half of her body hanging over the edge she pulled a scared lost brunette along with a scared shitless part of herself.

The moment both of their bodies touched solid ground she wrapped her arms tightly around a shivering hyperventilating brunette.

"It's okay, you're okay" she repeatedly whispered to the broken girl and to herself, she had never been so terrified in her life.

Rachel's head came to rest under Quinn's chin, perfectly placed to hear the beating pulse of Quinn rumble through her.

"I just want to be loved" she murmured quietly yet with such eloquence that you could never miss the words. The blonde nodded to herself absently and clenched her body closer to the girl. The words were spoken with such plead and unrestrained eagerness that Quinn couldn't help the tears that escaped her, her lips were bruised from the bite she had on them, this wasn't about her. She had no right, no voice in this moment…except.

"_I_ love you"

She would do whatever it had to take for Rachel to understand her love for her. The poison she been infected with when she first saw her for who she was. The shiver that almost crippled her by every touch they shared. The way her muscles ached when she wasn't there. Quinn loved Rachel. She was a poison, a drug that deliciously paralyzed and enlivened her. It wouldn't matter if Rachel didn't reciprocate the feelings, but at least she would know that someone loved her for who she was.

They stayed through the night in a tight embrace, and when the noises from night started to change into morning they began move. It was a new day. And a new chance at love.

**The End.**


End file.
